Things always going this way

Should i have the mood like how others treated Christmas?
I'm so sorry to say santa, i don't wish to celebrate it at all, but could you give me my wish?
I wish for .. i told you just now. Hope you can grand true it.

Actually, i hate that thing so much, seriously. I couldn't deny the hate towards it, but i really hate it when things got wrong. What's really wrong man? Why can't just let it be the sake of us and allow things to get over? What kind of feeling you wish us to carry in heart? Why can't say things out properly or in other ways rather than shouting, screaming and using F.U.C.K language? Maybe you didn't use those F languages, but trust me talk properly comes better than those ways i mention just now!

Because of this, i couldn't find any reason for me to celebrate this day which everyone is counting down for. Maybe i didn't stand at the view you're standing, maybe i don't know what kind of feeling you carrying when you say things out. But for me, it's a state of unfair.

Why you doesn't know how sad i am, how hurting it is! Why you don't know I'm the one who suffer rather than her! Why you don't know how to think for us rather than her? Why you don't understand isn't a good way to express?

If i really lost her, or rather you. It's means nothing in my life. So i don't wish anyone of you leave this house or either me alone. I want to be perfect, or rather normal. I want to be a normal child who has, dad & mum. Do you think that's difficult for you to made it? I don't think so. That's the most easy thing ever. The fact will be, if anyone leave, i will leave too. No matter where i go, just not in this house without someone.

Why you doesn't know just one word you talk to her, I feel so relief. No matter how bad is my day, I'm gonna be happy after all! I guess you don't know how happy i am when i see the both of you get back together! Seriously, no matter how sad i am, i will still smile for the sake of you all! But you never think for us, or for the sake of our smile! Whatever is it.

And now, all thanks to that idiot thing. I'm totally out of Christmas mood, not only that and totally out of smiling mood!

Note: if you understand me, you will know what I'm referring to. If not, don't bother to ask too.