i like/love .

Im so tired of everything. I dont wish i'll miss you, i dont wish im needed or not. I dont even care. (I shouldn't) I know ive to give up. I know when phone rings it wouldn't be you, it wouldnt, it never will! I understand. But i doesn't even know for what reason i missing you so much, falling so madly, or even need to so damn much! At least for now, i know i doesn't need you, cause i can live by myself. i can't force my mind stop missing, stop falling, stop stop stop! Ive to stop! i know. no one really understand whenever i close my eyes, everything seems never leave at all. I believe i trust. I tried to share my problems. but everyone have theirs. They are very stress too, they can't add in more of my riddculous stuff.

What now? Im holding this riddculous stuff myself, and i tried really hard to get over everything. Sorry, i aint me anymore, you can flip the whole world to look for the other me, but i can't really go back. I use to my everything now, i use to the me which dont smile, i use to the me that i doesnt even know myself. Im not trying to act blur. But as what friends see, this two days, i can throw my temper to anyone, or even keep forget/dont know what to do. I lost my attention on everything. No matter how hard i try, i still dont get what am i doing, thinking, and what i really need for myself. I dont even know what's the best for me. I lost everything i no longer so confident. I no longer think that myself is good, im lousy in ways, i allow and admit everything that happen. I dont know. I can't put blame on people, i cant make myself to cry. I dont wish either. I dont know what happen. At least im confuse in some things: Love. For now i want the old me. God save me.

Maybe this is the way, the reason i forget.
I love him, maybe alittle, him