Last word

I suddenly don't know what to blog about actually.
Just feel quite messy inside.
I'm trying to figure out what is all about these days.
Yesterday they tried to look at me,
and somehow waiting for me to smile.
But yet, i turned away and do my stuff.
Am i right or what ?
I keep wanting to get rid of the thing inside our heart.
The misunderstand, that conflict.
But i just don't know how to.
maybe i'm used to people taking the first step then me.
& I don't like telling people, my surname is Tan,
but i'm not related to them AT ALL.
We're once a family, now i guess it isn't anymore.
Somehow we try talking to each other is trying to be humble
trying to be fake and trying to be sacastic.
Like i couldn't deny, i'm scare of that feeling.
That feeling which contain shy, fake and unknown
that's what i called 'gan ga'
I have to maintain like this, till tomorrow,
till that moment, she got pushed in
that moment, i dropped my tears.
Is not because i'm weak.
Is because, it's the last tears i dropped for this FAMILY.
And the word family, is not gonna mention anyone of you.
She is the last thing, i could bear of this family.
now she left and i think i able to let go this family already
and from tomorrow onwards, we no longer have relation anymore.
we gonna live on our own and
not gonna see each other for years.
Maybe till the day we die, we not gonna see each other.
maybe we'll see each other, with wings in sky.
maybe when we're in sky with wings, we still act as if
we don't know each other.

& these are my last words, hope it'll send to someone's heart
to get some understanding for myself, and
give me a tight hug telling me the conflict is gone.
how i wish i'm living in fairy tales.
maybe like cinderalla, she got bullied by step mother/sister
but she live happily ever after.
Will huiyu live happily ever after too?

hopes,
God bless us.

P/s: happy birthday jeff
P/s: happy belated birthday ivan