why

I wish there will be someone who will ..

be there for me 24/7
tell me what is wrong, and what is right
understand me by my actions or words
know how to handle the keep crying me
bring me to somewhere, where i can let my emotionals out
be at my side with me no matter what problem im facing
when my emergency bell ring, he will appear
lend me his shoulder to cry, to "kao"
stood infront of me, wipe my tears aways and tell me he'll face it together with me.
he'll treat my problem as if it's his problem
stand infront of me, no matter what happen
hold my hands and pull me away from places i dont like.
stand out for me, saying he will trust me
tell me, im the one who he cherish most, and forever
tell me, it's great when he live, cause he could love me .

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


You misunderstand me, you doesn't heard my explain. You allow people to shout at me, and you support others on what they did is right. You didn't care to listen to my explain why i shouted back. You didn't look at me, you didn't do anything for me, just lock my room not allowing me to go in, at that time i left this home. I left and when i turn back you didn't chase me, you didn't stop me, just let me go. My heart really hurts.

That was what i dream this morning, will it come true? Or it's already happening already?

I seem like a burden to this home of mine, i'm always the one who cause problem or like what they think keep asking for more, are they misunderstand me? or am i really like that? I felt so useless, by crying to myself last night, crying to be a burden. Out of the sudden i have the thinking of running home, cause i don't know how to face them anymore. Even i know they misunderstand me, i still felt very useless instead of angry and rush to explain myself.

I'm thinking what's wrong with me, why people always misunderstand me? Iszit because my personality got so much problem that people can't stop misunderstand me? Or am i really that bad till i didn't know that those misunderstanding is true? Am i really that worst that 8 out of 10 will misunderstand me then understand me?

And, why they didn't see my hard work ? why they didn't see my stress? Why they didn't know that because of them, i went for the interview that i doesn't like? My future? Yea, i'm living for the sake of them i could say. I didn't live for myself before. Whatever choices i made i think of them. Yet they didn't know and say i didn't think of them? Asking people come and tell me to think for them allowing people to have the thinking i'm a bad girl. How cool ? I'm a bad girl.

I'm tired once again. Sorry for being a burden, sorry for not being the way you all wish of. I'm so worst then i don't know whatever. Sorry ..

只想到他的辛苦得你们，有没有想过你们的女儿已经忍到累了，尽力了，努力了。
你们有没有想过，我有多么的痛，多么的累，多么的想死。