Feeling whatever i'm studying now, is not working out. Today happen a big thing in my life, this is the second time i cry because of this module. First time was cutting blunt cut, now is cutting life model. The fear i have in heart is not coming out. Or should i say, i'm scare of holiding that pair of scissors or start putting my scissors on people's hair and cut? Today i happen to cut weilun's hair, and at first i'm really very scare, but i pressed down my fear, when i start cutting, the more i'm going onto the finishing, the more the fear increase. You know i could press down my fear, my tears. But, when i accidentally cut weilun's hand, i totally lost confidences in mess. I start cutting in slow, slower, and even slower. Cause i'm scare of people's hair will ruin in my hands, cause i don't wish my hair will ruin on people's hair also. Until the very last, i saw weilun's hand start to have little blood stain on hands, i start to panic. My hands totally stuck and i can't move my hands to cut. And finally i broke down and cried. At that moment, when i start to look around, i dare not put my head up, i start to think "am i really bad, or really suitable for this course?" I wouldn't put quit school this word in my mouth. Just that i felt so useless, like i'm someone who is going to become a hairstylist, yet i've fear of holding the scissors. I can't imagine and think about it the next second. When i told miss hong, she told me " Just cut, what is so scare about? he's your friend somemore, so why scare?" I just went speechless, cause i couldn't control my fear, yet i acted like i can control, i can't control my emotionals, and i cried keep saying i can control my emotional. This is the first time, i'm fear of something that i'm learning.
Someone just save me ..
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